Through Sickness and Hate

Ex-Prez GMA is sick! Not the praising, over-zealous, colloquial term ‘sick’ but sick as in the hospital-lounging, doctor-needing kind of sick.

Apparently, the procedure needed for her recovery is non-existent here, so she (and her people) and her ailing body needs to fly away, in some foreign land to avail of this “exotic” Metabolic Bone Biopsy.

However, the forces of PNoy Admin (Justice Leila De Lima, Usec Ona and friends) are slowing down the assessment of the essentiality of her skipping town with their overly strict requirements. The GMA camp feels they are being over-scrutinized by The Forces even after complying with their demands. The Camp feels that this whole process is getting in the way of her right to life. (But I think no one really wants not to let her fly abroad and get this treatment; of course that’s just me.)

And now The Camp brings out the big guns, big words like the “constitutionality” of her right to seek medical needs abroad. Constitutionality? Where was this when she was the president? Suddenly this is the GMA mantra. Lest they forget that karma’s a slut and screws you in places you didn’t thought possible (bones, backbone, neck) 

This whole medical drama is an episode of House MD waiting to happen. But she isn’t the only one who is sick. Everyone’s sick of her lies and alibis and abuses to power that the fear of 1.) “Faking it to avoid being brought to court” and 2.) “Once she’s out the country, she’s gone for good” is on everyone’s hate radar. Hate is infectious and you can’t blame the people for catching it.

Filipinos are an emotional race and technicalities like “constitutionality” is an acquired taste. GMA has toyed with Filipinos’ hearts and souls for so many times and its human nature to feel suspicious with her imported medical procedure, after all the bad things that have happened in this relationship. With all the issues that happened during her presidency, all the whistleblowers and recorded evidences have come out, what we still just have of her are our suspicions.

Filipinos and their dramas are an over-extended, filler-episode filled TV series. So for the mean time, sit back, relax ‘coz the nasty’s just about to ooze out.

But I do hope everyone gets their due cure: GMA with her Metabolic Bone Biopsy and Filipinos with the truth.

Styling gig

With the strange strings of coincidences, I became an Assistant Stylist to Patrick Galang for Philippine Fashion Week TV 2011. The experience was SICK! Here are some photos (by the creative bro&sis team of Eunice and Art Alera):






Me, Mau and Pat are Patrick Galang's assistants for PFWTV. These are taken during and after a fashion show.





I got assigned styling Vicky Herrera, PFWTV's correspondent for Philippine Fashion Week 2011. And Eka Paredes is her PA

2NE1 (To anyone)

I've only been 21 for a few weeks but I feel ancient. Everytime I hear myself say I'm 21, the feeling is unreal. Really, 21? And my response is: really, 21! And the longer I spend affirming myself the realities of my time, the older I age by the second. Upon this post, I am almost 11 months away from turning 22.

Proof of this slow and sudden feeling of decay is that popular music no longer sounds fresh, my ears flap for "indie" music (although most of the artists I listen to don't prefer such title). By memory I do know how it feels to be enchanted by pop music. The Bieber's and others of this "generation" is a familiar phenomena, pop sensations that have reincarnated themselves for new audience. I was once there, a fanatic for such acts, but now I just don't get them. Not to single out any mainstream artist now but, ulk (vomits a little in the mouth)! Music now's so icky! So did the generation older than mine shared the same disgust when it was my hay day in the pop cult fanaticism? Which brings me back to my point that I am now, indeed, old.

But I don't feel much different, not a penny missing, not a pickle out of place. I am as me as I was as far as I can remember. I feel old and musky although really, nothing much has changed. I am my same height 4 or 5 years back. I still watch the same cartoons. I have the same humor. No, I am not available in 46 different languages and still no batteries are included but yes, I am still the familiar version of me you and I know of. But now, I do come with a wider selection of experience.

If you knew me before and haven't got any updates about my doings, well nothing much has happened really, you didn't miss much. We all have our stories of wines and whines, of boos and booze. I guess it's all the same really. I had a hard time at school, and so did you. I watched a movie, and so did you. The people, the event, and other features may be different but the situation's all the same. If I summarized my life to this point, I can simply say "I've been busy with school my entire life."

But what sets me apart from my previous years are the stories I have the fortune (or misfortune) of keeping. I do believe that this are not mine but I'm a lucky contestant plucked from the anonymity of the audience to win moments with people that are generous enough to share with me an experience.

Yep, I am me (can I get any vaguer than this?) but the lives I've come across with are the bangles, earrings, necklaces, rings, chokers, headbands and other twinkles that make me shine all the more brighter in the face of our naked sun.

Lessons From Recent History

So here's the low down, apparently my beloved country (Philippines) is in dispute over the whole RH Bill issue over at the legislature. The No's versus the Yes'es. Personally, I'm a nodder for this one. I like to think that it's a step our nation is taking towards changing times and values of the people (and of the globe). Don't worry though, if you're against it, you won't be receiving any unanswered, heavy breathing phone calls from me or I won't even bully you with cyber demonic spells, that would be unfair. I mean, don't you just love this mess? I find it amazing that the people are squandering on issues that actually matter, not like previous Kapamilya or Kapuso wars making people decide on which sexy leading lady to drool on or which noon time show to have lunch with. It's a real issue people, and it's one raging with controversies.

It's so controversial in fact, that our country's religions are all trying to dip in this legal pool. It really is unfair for these institutions to use moral leverage in winning its flock's opinions. Tugging on spiritual strings? That's practically intimidation and black mailing all in one. Do not use the name of the Lord in vain (as commandment number 2 of the catholic order states), it is somewhat the same as dropping the H-bomb over television network wars. IT IS UNCALLED FOR. Yeah I'm pro-RH Bill, and you're against it, so what, we both have the right to think so don't we? No matter the issue, respect is respect and that's that. The song may be sang a million renditions but Aretha (and all the rest) still sings it R-E-S-P-E-C-T! I mean, isn't that what great nations thrive on, passage of opinion so that the very soul of this nation be quenched, the very soul of which is democracy. We are not just a country of crosses or veils, we are people of this country, the very reason why we are called Filipinos. We are of this country and having a different say on public matters means we are of thinking decent, with empathy for our beloved soil. In this occasion's rarities must we be proud of ourselves for having a stand, pro or against, we should not make anything personal out of it and think of it as doing a favor for the betterment of the laws of the land. In this dispute must we put faith in our public leaders to summon the rightest decision. But needless to say, yes or no, you are making yourself useful by joining public opinion dialogues. And aren't we people united in spectacle over what will happen?

Of course talking about unity in this country has changed over its run on history. Katipunan, that's so last century and EDSA People Power Revolution is so 80's. When we talk about unity while staying in the current context, unity is Manny Pacquiao and his fights. Time stops for Pacquiao fights, a golden moment not only for TV networks but for our sacred Filipino pride as well. I recently watched Pacman's biography via Bio (TV channel) and was amazed at how he triumphed over all odds even if it means fighting some battles twice, Erik Morales and politics.

Just like achieving unity these days, politics has taken a shape-shifting mold, too. Weird enough that the celebrity-turned-politicians culture is accepted here, weirder is the fact that politicians are turning into celebrities. Take the President himself, Benigno Aquino III, or Noynoy. Using the name Noynoy, doesn't that speak of something else? It's a nickname, we address our president by his nickname. Is it to breathe in a sense that he is one with the people, to make him seem someone easy to relate to? Last time I checked, the other president who enjoys such name calling was a drunkard and got ousted by the people, and in fact, a former celebrity. And now the tides have turned and the presidency itself is turning the man a celebrity. Don't get me wrong, the Aquino's are no stranger to the lime light. His sister Kris is the Queen of All Media, and a Queen stands higher from a president. Its the Queen, you have to curtsy and all, and the president? Oh, everyone's on nickname basis with that one.

We even follow him on his personal affairs. A double headline for the papers, both the front page and the entertainment section. Don't get me wrong, I love the guy (my ballot in 2010 says so otherwise), he's not the most hardworking or the brainiest president of the republic ever, but he is an honest man. One of the many speculated reasons why he won is because he was seen the least evil (are we in hell?) of the presidential candidates. Mr. President is a nice man so much in fact that we trail him around town, and also make a celebrity out of the next woman he rubs skin with. The presidential paparazzi stake-outs need to stop.

But the real issue here is why we get to choose people who are the "least evil" of the bunch? Have the standards dropped so low that instead of choosing the BEST we gravitate towards the least evil one? Are we that drunk in corruption that the dizzy is making us swoon for could be's rather than should be's? Is the situation that bad that actual skills to run the country are overlooked because we choose people who are nice enough not to take our money? So if I run as president, being innocent *wink wink* and uncorrupt, will I be the least evil, will I win?

Our jacked up reality has got the steams of our morality blowing in the wrong holes.

Playing with thy self

This is an attempt to be vain.
This is to vanquish post-graduation/unemployment boredom.
This is to kill the heat.
This is making use of prime, internet real-estate.
This is just a filler to say that I am still blogging.
This is just to fill the empty void that this summer has created in my daily preoccupations.

This is what I mean when I say slashed wrist

I am still a firm believer of epiphanies. It's not that I am bad in decision making (or am I?) but there are just those things where I feel I need to sit it out, do nothing and wait until I hear a bell ping (or gold to fall out the sky).

Some people say it's procrastinating, I say nay.

Like this blog for instance, during its creation I said to myself that I would at least write once a month. But excuses got lamer, days got more tiring, brain got stupider, ass got lazier, at this point, this is an empire fallen before it had seen its golden age. So once and a while I do have that horse kick feeling in my gut to blog and write my soul away and there I am, brain trembling in excitement, shaky fingers fumble away until it comfortably finds its way to the backspace button. The whole thing (the blog post and the idea) defeated by default.

Even now, several hair styles later, calories burned then renewed, fallen in and out of love, callous growing thicker by each step, and blogging is actually "old school", this thing is crude.

So have i grown crude?

What happened? As they say awareness is the first step, and in an attempt to calculate "what may have happened", these are some things I need to address:

1. The courageous persona that I try to embody is actually a wolf costume for the scaredy cat that I am.
2. That I fear a lot of things: change, chance, success, failure and all these are causing a personal disability called anxiety.
3. I still don't know what I want. I mean, I am prepared for battle, so prepared that my many armaments are causing me time and that the enemy have already attacked before I even decided which weapon to deploy.

Its not that I can ask the universe to mellow down, so can I just say fuck it? I just hate how I stop myself from doing things. The real life doubting Doody. A second guessing, post-teen angst, pre-pre midlife crisis experiences that is only putting me in a shit filled misery landfill. I'm blaming climate change, its melted my armor and burnt my braincells making me dumber and wimpier by each UV ray.

What's wrong with waiting for signs anyway? I say nay to procrastinating because actually I'm stalling.

How long will these fears keep me shackled?










....and the bus to crazy town leaves in
3...
2..
1.....

Pre-vday 2011

J: Let's grow old together ha?
M: Older than the oldest.




:)

Here's to blogging and the lack thereof

I'm too wimpy to write. Afraid that what I say will go straight to hell with its disappointing outcome. Too heavy to soar, too dead [if there's such a thing].

I'm too egotistic to write. Afraid that what I will say will be read by people. I know, wrong medium to write on. I should have used the traditional journal, the one with paper.

So, wala lang, para masabi lang makapagblog ako, here's some drafts.

***
I'm never really the talkative one. I'm the type who keeps to herself. Frigid and locked away on a self constructed fortress. A hermit.

***
People who are around me might say that I'm really loud, a goofball and the crazy one among the crowd. Yes that is also true because I have the urgency to feel uneasy when the people around me looks unentertained.

***
However, words have lingered on to the tip of my tongue and got washed up by the immediate wave of saliva, only to be swallowed.

***
Energy is neither created nor destroyed; a law about thermodynamics. But wiggling on about in my everyday misadventures, I learn that it's another thing that can be observed even when not on a physics class.

***
Judgment is always just a judgment until built into mountains of our personal biases. I

***
its these silly little accidents that seem to wound us to greater history ahead.

***
if something grabs our attention, its that second look that would lock us with better realizations.

***





I'm better off on Twitter. :|

Mark

The common notion is, a person falls in love.
I didn't really fall.
My spirit leaps to new highs.
Shoots off, breaking aerial bounds.
Keeps spreading its wings for you.

This floating feeling
is fleeting.
You keep me high,
anti-gravity.

I'm in space
from a distance I watch
the world spin
before my eyes.

The world is you.

12 days of Christmas

On the twelvth day of Christmas, Atty Kho gave to me...

12 summary papers
11 summary papers
10 summary papers
9 summary papers
8 summary papers
7 summary papers
6 summary papers
5 SUMMARY PAPERS.....
4 summary papers
3 summary papers
2 summary papers
and a summmaaaaaryyy paaaappperrr!!!

MERRY MERRY CHRISTMAS :D